Note to readers: Here is the latest information on the Facebook news feed redesign.
It was a rainy Sunday afternoon and I was nestled into one of the cozy chairs at Starbucks, sipping my vanilla latte, when I saw the message at the top of a friend’s page. Your Friend has the New Facebook, it said. You Can Have it Too. My heart started to beat a little faster. I just got the new Twitter, and it’s so attractive and user-friendly. My tweeting is faster, my past tweets are easier to review, my followers and those I’m following are clearly laid out. I love the new Twitter, of course I want the new Facebook! My hands were shaking as I clicked on the Get The New Profile button. But then, as I waited anxiously for the latest and greatest Facebooking developments, something horrible happened.
My easy-to-navigate tabs disappeared at the top of the page and they were replaced by a paragraph of somewhat-meaningless facts about me – where I went to college, who I married, the languages I speak – and a filmstrip of pictures that were so weirdly cropped that it looked like some kind of artistic slide show of my various body parts. It was messy and cluttered – not to mention the fact that someone would have to look 3 inches down the page to see the really important stuff – like where I checked in from while Christmas shopping this morning, the three latest things I ‘like’ or how I feel about having to go back to work tomorrow.
Desperate to make it stop, I fumbled with the keyboard, trying to add a status update. Where is the box? The box is gone?! I can’t find the #$%^&* status box! (I was really starting to panic now.) Finally, I was able to steady myself enough to click on the the tiny icon to make the status box appear. Give me back the old Facebook! I typed as quickly as I could. But alas, it was too late. The new Facebook was here to stay, and by nightfall, all my friends would have it too.